Here are a few tips and methods that you might want to try out:
Start small. If you’re especially avoidant (same!), you shouldn’t put a bunch of pressure on yourself to become a finance-tracking master. Clayman suggests committing to a short but regular date with your bank account, like once a week for 20 minutes, to check in on what came in and went out. If you can only handle this monthly at first, so be it. “Make it as small as you can commit to,” says Clayman.
Put your check-in on the calendar. Making a vague goal to check your account regularly may work for some, but a lot of us really benefit from scheduling a firm, nonnegotiable date. “Don’t wait for this magical confluence of time and motivation to look at it,” says Clayman.
Or time it to your mood. Hey, we did say that everyone’s different and this could take some experimenting. For some, the calendar method is too rigid to take into account the complicated relationship you might have with money. “If you’re depressed and anxious about money, diving in when you’re in a negative headspace might not be good for you,” says McLay.
Consider using spreadsheets and apps to keep track. SELF Senior Health & Beauty Editor Sarah Jacoby has an expense-tracking spreadsheet that is frankly a work of art. Whenever she makes a purchase, any purchase, into the spreadsheet it goes. And many people benefit from that kind of approach. “The habit of writing down every expense makes you more mindful of how you’re spending your money,” says McLay. If spreadsheets aren’t your thing, there are also a ton of expense-tracking apps out there.
Or get an automatic tracker. If manually entering all of your purchases into an app or spreadsheet sounds like way too much time and energy for you, there are also apps out there, like Digit and Mint, that automatically connect to your accounts and track your expenses.
Once you know what works for you, stick to it. No matter your chosen method, the key is consistency, says Clayman.
Try a few “financial exercises” before jumping into a full budget.
If tracking your finances without making any changes sounds horrifying and anxiety-inducing to you, McLay suggests implementing some “financial exercises” whenever you’re ready. “It’s about finding things you can do that are going to make you more mindful of your money in a healthy way,” she says. Basically, changing behaviors that can impact your account in small ways can help reduce anxiety without overhauling your budget.
Here are two financial exercises McLay suggests:
No-spend days. You probably don’t need me to tell you that little things can add up in a big way, especially when we’re spending our money mindlessly. McLay suggests putting one or two no-spend days on the calendar each week where, yep, you don’t spend any money.
Cash-only weeks. Decide for yourself how much money you want to spend during the week and take out that amount of cash. “If you run out of cash by Wednesday, it’s Netflix and Chill the rest of the week,” says McLay. Bonus to this exercise: It eliminates the need to check your account—and by that I mean avoid your account—because there won’t be any transactions happening.
Consider exploring broader financial wellness.
Depending on your lifestyle and needs, as well as your personal privilege, it’s not always simple to focus on financial wellness. Speaking frankly, financial wellness can involve a lot of stuff (like prioritizing your spending on experiences that bring you joy or investing in retirement) that is difficult for many people who don’t have the freedom to choose how to spend and save.
If you do have that freedom, though, it’s worth diving in deeper to see what you can do to alleviate financial stress. That might involve adjusting your lifestyle choices, dedicating time to making and maintaining a budget, or talking to a professional.
Whether or not you can take those steps, remember that financial awareness is a huge and helpful start for creating a better relationship with money. “Financial wellness isn’t just numbers on a page and white-knuckled discipline,” says Clayman. “It’s about respecting how we use money to take care of ourselves, letting go of judgment, and embracing awareness and conscious decision-making.”
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