Do you want to spend $1,000 total? $200? Whatever the number is, write it down or put it in a notes app on your phone and work backward from there. If you need to buy eight gifts and have $240 to do it, each gift limit is $30. Or maybe you want to spend a little more on some people than others—as long as the math works out, you’re good.
Once you’re out of that money, you can either say no to more gift-giving (try something like, “I’m sadly maxed out on secret Santas, but maybe next year!” or “I have to opt out of the gift exchange, but thank you for including me!”) or go the DIY route. Can you whip up a mean batch of peanut butter cookies? Do that! Are you a painter with a penchant for tiny watercolors? Consider gifting your personal creations instead.
Consider gifting everyone on your list the same thing.
You don’t have to buy each of your friends and family members a major present à la Oprah, but giving everyone something from the heart (that also fits in your budget) can help you avoid overspending by cutting down on decision fatigue. We can only make so many decisions throughout the day (what to eat, wear, buy, etc.) before we start to get emotionally exhausted, which makes decision-making harder—and, in my experience, can increase the likelihood of purchasing something you regret.
So rather than trying to rack your brain for the perfect gift for your great aunt, ask yourself, What did I spend money on this year that brought me joy? A neighborhood friend of mine started doing this a few years back. Instead of gifting a bunch of different items, she buys her year’s favorite purchase in bulk and gives it along with a note about why she loves it. Over the years, her thoughtful gifts have ranged from these $5 exfoliating shower gloves to this Michigan-grown biodynamic tea—both of which I was delighted to receive.
Imagine the recipient opening your gift without you.
Remember the study I mentioned earlier about gift givers being motivated by the receiver’s reaction? Wanting to wow your loved ones might make you spend more than you should (perhaps on stuff that won’t even satisfy them in the long run, per the study). That’s why I recommend imagining the recipient opening a potential purchase when you aren’t around. This exercise may help dial down the tendency to want to elicit a Cheshire Cat grin and can help you give a gift that better aligns with the recipient’s long-term needs and enjoyment (and your budget).
As an example, I was on the receiving end of a very practical gift a few years ago. My in-laws, knowing how much I love popcorn, got me a hot-air popcorn maker. It might not be the most exciting (or expensive) thing you can think of, but I get so much use out of it, and I think of them at least once a week when I pull it out of the cupboard and load it up with my local corn kernels.
